For the past couple of weeks, I haven't opened up my Bible.

Yep. Haven't. Even. Opened it.

Why?

Because I was angry. After my most recent visit to the MS clinic, some suggestions were made to me, that basically ruined every plan I ever had for my life. It was an extremely hard day, and I left feeling defeated. In the coming days, I found myself becoming more and more depressed and just down about everything.

Today I am choosing to be happy, and I am choosing to live my life the way GOD wants, not the way the MS Specialist and my neurologist want. Of course, I'm not going to 'throw my body to the lions' and refuse any help. Treatment will be started, and probably soon. And I just need to trust that God knows what He's doing.

But how in the world am I supposed to be on the same page as God if I don't even crack open my Bible?! Seriously!? Kara, give your head a shake. How immature, really.

I also need to make a bigger effort to attend church regularly. I believe that church is extremely important. I know it doesn't say in the Bible that you have to go to church to be a Christian, but seriously. Does it hurt?? No. Is it beneficial? Absolutely!! The Bible also encourages us to meet together as believers and to encourage one another (Hebrews 10:25).

Rob works every other weekend. It sucks, but whatever, we make it work. At least he doesn't have to work every weekend. Because of this, we usually only end up going to church, every other weekend. I could go every weekend, but for whatever reason, I am either not feeling well, or Isaiah is feeling well, or I just don't feel like getting out of the house. Wow. What a poor excuse. Rob and I have been discussing attending a church that has services on Saturday nights, just so that we can attend church on the weekends that Rob is working and I don't need to worry about getting to church by myself. I'm so glad for churches that have multiple services!! I LOVE my church too, don't get me wrong. I'm very excited that I can now consider myself a member of a great church (who just recently hired an amazing full time pastor, by the way).

Life is hard. Sometimes I think my life sucks. Sometimes I think my life isn't fair. And yet, God somehow has some sort of a plan for me. I know he does. He says so. He's known since before I was born that I was going to be diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and the young age of 23, and he knows that I'm going to be able to handle it. I'm going to have really hard days, and really good days. I just pray that God will bring me through it.

~Merry Christmas~